Facets of Being

Sometimes I feel like i've got some kind of split-personality disorder. One day i'll be hyper happy, a few days later i'll be ultra fed-up, throughout the day i'll feel happier again and so on goes the cycle... I've come to the realisation with the help of a few people in my life (actually, let's make that ALL the people in my life!) that when you have a 'bad' experience as the result of expressing yourself in whatever way that may be- you become scared of doing it again. That ONE experience creates a whole life of shutting out emotions in similar situations- so they happen again and again and again.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do I do this myself? What has my 'self' ever done to annoy me so much that I would deprive it of an emotion?

Here's what: It expressed itself in a situation and my mind has remembered it, consequently preventing that emotion from surfacing again in a similar situation.

WHY???

Here's why: Because the great positive change and lesson that came about when expressing myself was so dramatic, my mind couldn't handle it in its early stage of development and therefore created a negative association with all further 'similar' situations.

But here's the magical part for me- those situations appear again because they are an opportunity for growth. When we fall over as children we don't treat that ONE event as the moment we never fall over again do we? Do we start walking around with crutches or supports? No... we fall over and fall over until we learn how to balance.

So I need to try my best to express myself in situations that feel eerily familiar and do it in such a way that I do it with the utmost confidence and power.

Maybe if we all did this we would see conflicts shortnened to a conversation and the eradication of war... within ourselves.